Funny SMS [Funny SMS] - Page26

Speaking Italian is hard, but I eat and drink it without difficulties!

How do you express two words,with exactly the opposite meanings,in a single sentence...?Any guesses?No?Say:"HAPPILY MARRIED"

I am a killer, I kill people for money. But because you are my friend, I'll kill you for nothing

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash

Reality is an illusion that is born out of shortage of alcohol.

2 ways to suicide.1) QUICK DEATH:Take a BIG rope,tie it around ur neck & hang urself.2) SLOW DEATH:Take a SMALL rope, tie it on a girl's neck to marry...!

Stress is when you wake up and realises that you haven't slept yet.